Give me this mountain!

What have I learnt over these few days?
As I pause and thank God for the life He has blessed me with, I am caught with the awareness of how times have flown by…I am now 43yrs old.

I joked that every birthday is another notch downwards to the end of the burning candle. We are closer to our ends….Jo reminded me that it was also closer to our new beginning in heaven.

What a difference in perspective!

Interestingly, I am also reminded that I should be heaven-focused - longing for heavenly home more than earthly habitat by Edmund.

Today, I went to CHC for their celebrity outreach service. I was blessed by the many changed lives among all the artistes and celebrities.

Yet within me, I asked if I had past my prime, my best years, my best contribution. Jokingly I reminded myself I could not sing nor dance like them. And it was within second, God reminded me that I had offered to the painful world, not through singing nor dancing, but through His enabling in my life. He “rewinded” the video of my life and showed me the times He used me to bless His people, teach His flock, challenge His leaders.

My place is not on the stage of this world! Nor politics! Nor business!

My place is in the house of God. I am and have been called to be His pastor, His shepherd, His servant.

Yes, I can lay down the approval of man, the applauds of the audience, the affirmation of the world. I can lay down the limelight, the media, the flashy world. Because my soul longs for the courts of the Lord…..I miss the time of godly contemplation, the time of repentance at the altar, the time of worship, the time of being with God…..for such is what I am made for.

God, I miss you Lord. I miss Your Intimacy, Your closeness, Your healing presence, Your convicting works, Your amazing grace…Lord I miss You.

Forgive me for choosing the broken cistern of the world instead of the beautiful fountain of life. Forgive me for giving in to worldly pleasure rather than heavenly joy.
Forgive me for giving up…..

Thank you Lord for not giving up…
Thank you Lord for still loving me…
Thank you Lord for grace still amazing…

By Your Grace, I will arise…..