Dear family,
I will like to start a new series of reflection ie purely on youtwork. Between ps jo and I, we have more than 40yrs of youthwork experiences. It will be poor stewardship for us NOT to share or teach all of you our beloved in the Lord.
Yet in doing so, I must be careful not to lock your learning into our times and context.
AS such, I will try and distill our experiences into Principles as much as I can for your application in your context.
In this 1st reflection, I will like to draw on 2 counselling experiences recently to highlight my learning;
1 Dealing with sexual temptation
It is normal for us to see our youth struggle in their sexual attraction with their partners. If they are not sexually attracted, I will be of great concerned – because we are created as sexual beings.
The correc
t perspective is to see this as necessary process to develop the fear of God in them. They must not run away from us because of this struggle (have not sinned) and sin (when they aroused one another intentionally). The temptation to run from us or God is the scheme of the devil to condemn them further through self pity and further sinning. God’s grace is always more than enough for us.
The priority in ministering to youth in this journey, is to inspire them to consider God’s destiny for their lives. They need to know that they are created for GREAT thing because God is Great. Despite of their sins and struggles, God can use them if they are willing to return and repent. The way I find that helps is the way of God. When I was younger, and struggled more with sexual temptation, I did not see God condemned me and sentenced me to uselessness in Christendom. Rather, I was shown grace – I was accepted, I was loved, I was affirmed, I was given the joy to serve….
How could I deny such GRACE through our sins….Grace melted my hearts and I was changed.
Thus, when we help couples over these areas, draw them to focus their energy/passion towards serving God and seeking God’s destiny (which is both doing and being; there is no clear separation).
2 Dealing with discipline
I was shocked by how some leaders react violently to discipline of words of rebuke or correction. They reacted with bad attitude and improper manner towards leadership.
Their actions only further revealed a lack of character. Remember we are in character formation and not behavioural modification. As such, I will like us to grow in this when we are corrected by leadership. Accept the correction and see if there are areas of change. Acceptance is not necessary equal to agreement. You can accept and change because you are accountable to God over your action towards leadership. Yet there is nothing stopping you in praying for wisdom to understand the purpose of God over the situation that you cannot agree with. In all things in life, we need more than knowing the facts or truth (theory) …we need to grow in understanding.
SO when you are corrected unreasonably by leadership, accept it and seek to be understanding.
3 Dealing with accountability with youth; speed and reminders
In working with youth, we need to know that they do have a lot of time; more than you think. They can sleep much lesser than us, doing msn, surfing, gaming, etc. Thus, everyday is a full 24hrs availability for things that matters to them eg BGR, interest and hobby and study. While this is not true for us, working adults have a lot more other things to do etc, it will NOT be prudence to respond to youth ONLY at your convenience or preference. If there is a need for accountability, call them immediately or asap and not when you can. If they are thinking about someone or doing something foolish, don’t wait till you can. Do it asap or regret knowing they have done the very thing you know they should NOT. Thus SPEED in responding is very vital.
Talking about reminders, we cannot use our adult practice and expect youth to respond accordingly. You cannot set a time for cell meeting and expect your youth to remember. They may not because they have many options and interesting distraction. If you don’t call or sms them about your cell meetings, you should not be surprised that they don’t turn up. Or they say they forget. But because you call or sms, it will help them to remember their commitment to you and cell, and they MAY turn up. Such is youth work.
I will like to start a new series of reflection ie purely on youtwork. Between ps jo and I, we have more than 40yrs of youthwork experiences. It will be poor stewardship for us NOT to share or teach all of you our beloved in the Lord.
Yet in doing so, I must be careful not to lock your learning into our times and context.
AS such, I will try and distill our experiences into Principles as much as I can for your application in your context.
In this 1st reflection, I will like to draw on 2 counselling experiences recently to highlight my learning;
1 Dealing with sexual temptation
It is normal for us to see our youth struggle in their sexual attraction with their partners. If they are not sexually attracted, I will be of great concerned – because we are created as sexual beings.
The correc
t perspective is to see this as necessary process to develop the fear of God in them. They must not run away from us because of this struggle (have not sinned) and sin (when they aroused one another intentionally). The temptation to run from us or God is the scheme of the devil to condemn them further through self pity and further sinning. God’s grace is always more than enough for us.The priority in ministering to youth in this journey, is to inspire them to consider God’s destiny for their lives. They need to know that they are created for GREAT thing because God is Great. Despite of their sins and struggles, God can use them if they are willing to return and repent. The way I find that helps is the way of God. When I was younger, and struggled more with sexual temptation, I did not see God condemned me and sentenced me to uselessness in Christendom. Rather, I was shown grace – I was accepted, I was loved, I was affirmed, I was given the joy to serve….
How could I deny such GRACE through our sins….Grace melted my hearts and I was changed.
Thus, when we help couples over these areas, draw them to focus their energy/passion towards serving God and seeking God’s destiny (which is both doing and being; there is no clear separation).
2 Dealing with discipline
I was shocked by how some leaders react violently to discipline of words of rebuke or correction. They reacted with bad attitude and improper manner towards leadership.
Their actions only further revealed a lack of character. Remember we are in character formation and not behavioural modification. As such, I will like us to grow in this when we are corrected by leadership. Accept the correction and see if there are areas of change. Acceptance is not necessary equal to agreement. You can accept and change because you are accountable to God over your action towards leadership. Yet there is nothing stopping you in praying for wisdom to understand the purpose of God over the situation that you cannot agree with. In all things in life, we need more than knowing the facts or truth (theory) …we need to grow in understanding.
SO when you are corrected unreasonably by leadership, accept it and seek to be understanding.
3 Dealing with accountability with youth; speed and reminders
In working with youth, we need to know that they do have a lot of time; more than you think. They can sleep much lesser than us, doing msn, surfing, gaming, etc. Thus, everyday is a full 24hrs availability for things that matters to them eg BGR, interest and hobby and study. While this is not true for us, working adults have a lot more other things to do etc, it will NOT be prudence to respond to youth ONLY at your convenience or preference. If there is a need for accountability, call them immediately or asap and not when you can. If they are thinking about someone or doing something foolish, don’t wait till you can. Do it asap or regret knowing they have done the very thing you know they should NOT. Thus SPEED in responding is very vital.
Talking about reminders, we cannot use our adult practice and expect youth to respond accordingly. You cannot set a time for cell meeting and expect your youth to remember. They may not because they have many options and interesting distraction. If you don’t call or sms them about your cell meetings, you should not be surprised that they don’t turn up. Or they say they forget. But because you call or sms, it will help them to remember their commitment to you and cell, and they MAY turn up. Such is youth work.
That is all for this week.
Do drop me a line or mail if you have some questions or thoughts to add.
Growing with you in growing the next generation.
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